Lesson 4:The Burden of Guilt

As an eight-year-old child, I had my first memorable experience with a guilty conscience. My father had died a few months before, and Mom, my sister, and I were still adjusting to his loss. Dad had always worn a gold pocket watch, and now that he was gone, that watch was a treasured family memento. Somehow the glass had come off, and my mother had carefully placed the watch on a countertop so she could have it repaired. She told both my sister and me not to touch it at all.


I was consumed with curiosity. When no one was around, I picked up the watch and opened it, examining it and experimenting with it. Suddenly, to my horror, I broke off one of the hands! With shaking fingers, I tried to put the watch back so it would look as if it hadn't been touched.


From that moment on, I kept out of my mother's way, but it wasn't long till she called me. I can still see her gazing into my eyes. "Did you touch Daddy's watch?"


"No!" I answered quickly.


Oh, the guilt! Now it was worse than ever. Not only had I broken the watch, but I had lied as well! It felt like a big rock in the middle of my chest. I stayed out of my mother's sight all day long, but my misery was intolerable. Eventually I decided I would rather take my punishment than live with those awful guilt feelings.


I went to Mom and confessed.


That spanking is the only one I remember from my childhood, and its severity had far more to do with my lies than with the damaged watch. But once it was over, my guilt was gone too. I had received the punishment I deserved. And my mother had forgiven me.
A Guilty Human Pattern


Guilt is that awful feeling that hits us in the pit of the stomach when we know we have done wrong, and we'll do almost anything to get rid of it. Adam and Eve, our first parents, established a human pattern that continues to this day. First comes the cover-up. Then we play the blame game as we try to justify or rationalize our actions. We think that the more we can blame someone else, the less guilty we will feel.


Sometimes we try to escape from guilt through activities, alcohol, or drugs. Or we run to psychiatrists—but secular psychiatry has tried to solve the problem of guilt by saying there is no such thing as sin. Just ignore that guilty feeling, we're told, because it has no basis in reality. We try, but somehow we just can't pull it off. Why not?


We can't escape these feelings by ignoring them because God built into our natures a knowledge of right and wrong—a moral code. God's Word speaks of the moral conscience, which exists even within those who are not aware of His laws.


One example of this is described in Romans 2:14-15: "When Gentiles, who do not have the law, do by nature things required by the law, they are a law for themselves, even though they do not have the law, since they show that the requirements of the law are written on their hearts, their consciences also bearing witness, and their thoughts now accusing, now even defending them."
GOD GAVE US A CONSCIENCE TO MAKE US AWARE OF SIN


There has never been a civilization on earth that didn't have laws—rules about right and wrong. Even though humankind hasn't always worshiped the living God, the moral codes of every civilization prove that there is an objective authority who has set a standard. The human conscience is evidence of God's existence and His standards for behavior.


God is the One we offend when we sin, and only He can provide a remedy for our sin and guilt. From the third chapter of Genesis on, He required animals to be sacrificed for human beings who wanted to have their sins forgiven. And the New Testament reminds us again, "Without the shedding of blood, there is no forgiveness" (Heb. 9:22).


But the blood of these thousands of animals could not remove sin. It only covered it, until the one perfect Sacrifice was made that completely satisfied the holiness and justice of God. When John the Baptist pointed to Jesus, he said in one sentence the purpose for His coming to earth: "Look, the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29).
God's Only Remedy for Sin and Guilt Is Jesus


Jesus came to earth to die. He was the Substitute for us—He took our punishment in our place so we could be forgiven and made right with God. But what we don't always understand is that God also wants us to be free from guilt. We learn this from His Word.
GOD'S FORGIVENESS INCLUDES A CLEANSED CONSCIENCE


Through Christ, God has wiped our record clean. He wants us to know it, and to live in that freedom. We're told, "How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!" (Heb. 9:14).


When believers in biblical times put their faith in Christ, they acted like forgiven and cleansed people. Zaccheus, described in Luke 19, is a classic example. Everyone knew Zaccheus was a sinner—he worked for Israel's oppressor, the Roman government. In fact, Zaccheus was head of the equivalent to the Roman Internal Revenue Service. He levied the taxes Caesar required, and he was free to add whatever he wanted for himself.


When Jesus invited Himself to Zaccheus's house, He demonstrated publicly that He even accepted sinners as terrible as Zaccheus was perceived to be. Zaccheus responded by putting his faith in Christ as his Messiah. But notice how he gave evidence of it: "Zaccheus stood up and said to the Lord, 'Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount" (Luke 19:8).


Zaccheus repented—he changed his way of life. He promised to make generous restitution to those he had cheated. The change was dramatic. That's why Jesus could say in response, "Today, salvation has come to this house." Zaccheus's new conduct was evidence of his new faith.
THROUGH CHRIST, SIN IS GONE FOREVER


The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is God's eternal remedy for human sin. When we trust Him, He not only forgives our sins, but He also cleanses our conscience of guilt. What happens to our sins? Once God has forgiven them, they are:
Out of sight: "You have put all my sins behind your back" (Isa. 38:17).
Out of mind: "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more" (Jer. 31:34).
Out of reach: "You will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea" (Mic. 7:19).
Out of existence: "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more" (Isa. 43:25).


Our sins are gone, removed from existence as if they had never happened in the first place. We can start our new life with a clean slate. And God gives us His Holy Spirit to empower us with new strength.


Have you been trying to make it on your own? Perhaps you have done things that have filled you with guilt, and you think if you're sorry enough and if you do enough good things, you can make up for the bad. No way!
GOD FORGIVES US BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH IN CHRIST


Scripture tells us we are washed clean and given new life through faith in Jesus Christ: "But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior" (Titus 3:4-6).


What wonderful words—kindness, love, and mercy! Have you trusted our kind and loving and merciful God alone to save you? If you haven't, talk to Him in your heart and tell Him you're through trying to earn your salvation. Trust in the Lord Jesus Christ alone for forgiveness, eternal life, and a cleansed conscience. There is no other way.
SIN DAMAGES OUR FELLOWSHIP WITH GOD


So now we understand what happens to our sin when we ask God for forgiveness—it vanishes! But most of us have to ask another question: What happens when we sin after we have trusted Christ? Can a believer, a child of God, lose his or her salvation? Do we have to be saved all over again? If all our sins—past, present, and future—are forgiven because of Christ's death, why do we have to do anything at all?


The answer is this: When a believer sins, something happens that has to be dealt with. Our relationship with God cannot be broken, because we are His children by birth, but our fellowship with Him is damaged. Have you noticed that when you feel guilty because you've done something you know is wrong, you avoid praying or reading your Bible? You don't feel like coming to church, and you may not even enjoy being with your Christian friends as much as usual. These feelings are evidence that your fellowship with God is broken.


Because He loves us, God wants our fellowship with Him to be restored. And He has provided a way for us to continue being cleansed from guilt for sins we commit after our salvation. The apostle John tells us how it's done: "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:8-9).


The trouble is, we often don't follow God's directions for our cure. Sometimes we wait a very long time before agreeing with God that we have sinned. All that time guilt eats its corrosive way into our conscience. David's story, in the Old Testament, is an excellent example of this process.
The Story of David and Bathsheba


God spoke of David as a man after His own heart; He chose David to be king over Israel. From his teen years, David was devoted to God in an extraordinary way. He followed God's ways. He listened to godly counsel. And when he was a fugitive from King Saul for at least ten years, he constantly found his refuge in God, who rescued him again and again. David was a deeply spiritual man with a well-developed emotional capacity. He was also a man with normal human passions.


He was about fifty years old when he committed the sins that affected him for the rest of his life. Today this is called "going through midlife crisis." David saw another man's wife and lusted for her. It didn't matter that her husband was one of his trusted soldiers who was out on the battlefield fighting for him. David sent for Bathsheba and slept with her. Then, when she let David know she was pregnant, he ordered her husband Uriah to come home so he could sleep with her and thus make it look like the child was his. That didn't work, so David instructed his commanding general to put Uriah on the front of the battle lines so he would be killed.


Uriah died in battle, and after Bathsheba had finished her mourning period, David married her. The cover-up was in place. But then we read these ominous words at the end of 2 Samuel 11: "But the thing David had done displeased the LORD."


God knew all about David's behavior, and He would not let His beloved servant get away with such a flagrant and heartless abuse of power. During the unfolding of the story, about a year went by from start to finish—a year during which David seemed to be without a conscience at all. Remember, David was a believer, a man after God's own heart, a man to whom God had promised a lasting dynasty. His would be the royal line from which the Messiah would come. Didn't he feel guilty for sins as wicked as adultery and murder? Yes, but he had stifled his conscience. He wouldn't listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. But he paid the price for his actions. Here's how he described his experience: "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer" (Ps. 32:3-4).


So God sent the prophet Nathan to waken David's conscience with a story that appealed to his emotions. Nathan told him about a poor man who had only one little pet lamb, which he loved like a child. A rich man, who had many flocks of his own, stole this little lamb and made it into shish-kebabs for a dinner guest. Here's how David reacted to Nathan's story:


"David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, 'As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this deserves to die! He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing" (2 Sam. 12:5-6).


Nathan looked into the face of his angry king who had just passed judgment on himself and said to David, "You are the man!"


How would David respond to the accusation and the punishment? He tells us his response inPsalm 32:5: "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD—and you forgave the guilt of my sin!"
CONFESSION IS REQUIRED FOR GUILT TO BE REMOVED


David made no excuses; he blamed no one else. He said, "I have sinned against the Lord."


You may be asking, What about his sin against Bathsheba and against Uriah? No, David saw his sin for what all sin is—an offense against the Lord. And he knew the punishment was just, because he knew the truth of this spiritual principle:


Forgiveness does not cancel out the natural consequences of our sins.


Nathan told David, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the Loin show utter contempt, the son born to you will die" (2 Sam. 12:13).


The death of the child was just the beginning. David lived to see his son Amnon rape his half-sister, Tamar. Then David's son Absalom killed Amnon and later tried to seize David's throne, and he was also killed. In fact, from this time on, David's life deteriorated until the day he died. His one act of unbridled passion permanently marked his family and his kingdom. But his fellowship with God was restored. After Nathan came to him, David wrote Psalm 51, which eloquently describes his sin, his repentance, and his forgiveness.
"I Can't Forgive Myself!"


When Elena's husband Sam made a major change in his profession, it put their marriage under a great deal of pressure. He got home late, left early, and barely spoke to Elena when they were together. Sam's stress level was astronomical, and he was irritable and rather mean to his wife. He was so wrapped up in his problems that, for the first time in their marriage, Elena wanted to make love when Sam didn't. She felt rejected and unattractive.


During this time, a married friend named Steve began to call Elena "just to talk." She openly welcomed Steve's calls. She was feeling lonely and abandoned, and she had come to the conclusion that Sam simply didn't love her anymore. It was a great relief to know she was still attractive to someone, and Steve was very open about his admiration for her.


Calls became lunches, and the lunches lasted into the afternoon. Before long, Steve and Elena were making love at least once a week. Fortunately, it didn't take more than a month for Elena's conscience to convict her of her adultery. Even though in some ways she felt entitled to her little fling, her Christian faith was too strong to allow her to carry on with Steve any longer. She broke off the affair and confessed it to her husband.


Sam forgave Elena and begged her to forgive him for his negligence and selfishness. They went to work in an attempt to heal their marriage. But Elena just couldn't get over the guilt she felt. When she came into my office, she kept repeating "I never dreamed I would ever do anything like that! I just can't forgive myself. I've hurt my husband so much, I don't know how he can forgive me. I cry all the time. I'm very depressed. I read the Bible and pray for hours, but I just can't get over it."


We talked for a long time. I reminded her of the promise expressed in 1 John 1:9. Of course she had confessed her sin over and over. But then I read Hebrews 9:14 to her: "How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself unblemished to God, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the living God!" (emphasis mine).


If God had forgiven Elena, yet she couldn't forgive herself, I suggested to her that she was setting herself up as a better judge than God. It's pride that tells us we would "never commit such a sin." We were each born with a sinful nature, and every one of us has the capacity to commit any sin in the book.


I instructed Elena to go back to 1 John 1:9 one last time and to agree with God that her actions were sin. Then I asked her to tell God she accepted His forgiveness and His cleansing of her guilt. "Elena," I explained, "we have to act with our wills to apply what God's Word says. Then He will eventually take care of our emotions."


Elena said she would do what I had suggested. She thanked me, and I didn't hear from her for about a month. Then she came to see me again.


She smiled, "I just want you to know that I'm doing much better. Oh, I have my moments, but I'm healing. You know, I listen to Christian radio for hours every day, and they talk about forgiveness, but I've never heard anyone mention Hebrews 9:14. That verse has changed my life!"


I've seen stories like Elena's happen many times. Some women carry a burden of guilt over a sin they committed years ago. They've confessed over and over, but they just don't think they deserve to be forgiven and have a cleansed conscience. The missing link is the act of the will to accept what God offers: We accept God's forgiveness with an act of the will.
We Need a Clean Conscience to Serve God


Hebrews 9:14 provides an interesting insight about the result of our cleansing and forgiveness. God does this, the writer of Hebrews explains, "that we may serve the living God."


Guilt keeps us from serving God. Yet God can even use the sins we have committed to make us more effective in our work for Him. Only when we refuse God's provision for forgiveness, for cleansing, and for a new beginning are we incapacitated by our past sins. That's why it is important for us to remember:


Satan wants us to be immobilized by guilt.


We have an enemy whose main purpose is to keep us from serving the Lord. In Scripture he is called the "accuser" of believers. If you continue to feel guilty for forgiven sins, you are hearing the voice of the enemy, not the Holy Spirit. Satan is a liar. Reject the fiery darts he shoots at your mind by holding up the shield of faith in the finished work of your Savior, and the devil will flee from you.


If guilt is the obstacle that has kept you from growing in your spiritual life, won't you lay down your burden at the cross? Accept God's forgiveness. Let Him cleanse your conscience. And commit yourself to living in obedience to God's Word and to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, who lives within you. Your burden of guilt will be lifted—once and for all.





Related Topics: Women's Articles

Overcoming Guilt

Overcoming Guilt – Understanding Guilt
Many of us struggling with overcoming guilt in our lives. It is an emotion that continually plagues us, even years after the incident. “This may sound strange to you,” the physician reluctantly explained, “but I often struggle with overcoming guilt.” Although a gifted surgeon for many years, his careless driving as a teenager resulted in a tragic accident. Perhaps a single err in judgment, an indiscretion, or thoughtless remark has burdened you with an overwhelming guilt that seems relentless. While there are different forms of guilt, how we respond to that guilt is often a matter of life or death.

Since guilt can make us feel so miserable, “Why does God allow me to experience guilt?” True guilt is caused when we do not agree with God about the wrong that we have done. “You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you” (Psalm 69:5). In Chapter 5 of Hosea, the nations of Israel and Judah are accused of many sins, including persecution, (spiritual) prostitution, arrogance, and unfaithfulness to God. While God is displeased with their behavior, He suggests that they admit their guilt and pursue the right course of action (Hosea 5:15). When God wants to punish the guilty one (sinner), He comes out of His dwelling place (Isaiah 26:21), but when He wants to show us His compassion, He returns to His dwelling place where He waits to be gracious (Isaiah 30:18).

Overcoming Guilt – Confronting Guilt
Perhaps your battle with overcoming guilt pertains to more practical issues. What are some ways that others confronted their guilty consciences?

• Rebellion – After eating the forbidden fruit, Adam and Eve tried to hide from God (Genesis 3).
• Sibling rivalry and jealousy – Following a lengthy cover-up, Joseph’s brothers admitted their cruel actions (Genesis 42:21-22)
• Pride and disobedience – Knowing that God barred him from ever entering into the Promised Land, Moses humbly accepted God’s judgment. Unselfishly, Moses expressed concern for welfare of Israelites in their wilderness journey (Numbers 27:14-17).
• Lust and manipulation – Although he faced deadly consequences, King David confessed and repented of his sins to God (2 Samuel 12:13-14).
• Betrayal and greed – Although remorseful, Judas Iscariot attempted to absolve himself of guilt by returning the 30 pieces of silver and then committing suicide. Yet he never sought forgiveness and mercy from God (Matthew 27:3-5).
• Lying and disloyalty – Consumed by deep sorrow, Simon Peter, wept bitterly for repeatedly denying Christ (Matthew 26:75). Later Peter reaffirmed his devotion to Jesus (John 21:15-17).
• Persecution and self-righteousness – Instead of attacking Christians, Paul surrendered to God’s plan, dedicating the remainder of his life to sharing the Gospel in Asia Minor and across the continental boundary into Europe (Acts 13-20).

Notice that God does not choose to eliminate from our nature the capacity to experience guilt. True guilt is beneficial because it: 1) Stirs compassion towards others, taking the focus off ourselves, 2) Convicts us of our wrongdoing, and 3) Compels us to turn away from destructive behavior. When we ignore our guilt or try to bury it in the deep recesses of our souls, we are lying to ourselves. “If we claim to be without sin [guilty before God], we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us...If we claim we have not sinned [disobeyed God’s commands] we make him [God] out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives” (1 John 1:8, 10).

Overcoming Guilt – Overcoming Guilt
From a human perspective, overcoming guilt entirely is a formidable task. We may try to ignore our consciences so that our capacity for remorse becomes negligible. But the guilt still infects our hearts, robbing us of joy and peace. A ransom price must be paid to set us free from our guilt. “God made him [Jesus Christ] who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him [Jesus Christ] we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Since God desires to make us victorious over the consequences of our sin, there are practical steps that every individual can take when overcoming guilt.

• Express genuine sorrow or grief (2 Corinthians 7:10). Guilt occurs when we violate God’s commands by disrespecting Him or others (Mark 12:30–31).
• Confess our wrongdoing (sin) to god (1 John 1:9).
• Repent or “change your mind,” thereby turning away from sin and evil (Acts 3:19).
• Be quick to forgive others. Whenever possible, make the effort to reconcile with others who injured you (Matthew 6:14-15).
• Give thanks for god’s grace and his forgiveness (Ephesians 2:4-8).
• If those thoughts of guilt return, take time to thank God for His forgiveness. Remind yourself that your sins are forgiven.

When you surrender your life to the will of God, your fleshly tendency to sow negative attitudes and behaviors diminishes. The Lord is able to then build up your character, your endurance, and your faith in Him. He builds a new sense of quality into your life—you become the person God desires you to be and you acquire the joy and peace that overcomes.

“...all who believe on the Lord Jesus Christ are brought into right relationship with God. This righteousness in unattainable...by any merit of man’s own, or any other condition than that of faith in Christ....The man who trusts in Christ becomes ‘the righteousness of God in Him,’ i.e. becomes in Christ all that God requires a man to be, all that he could never be in himself.”¹

Learn More!

WHAT DO YOU THINK? - We have all sinned and deserve God's judgment. God, the Father, sent His only Son to satisfy that judgment for those who believe in Him. Jesus, the creator and eternal Son of God, who lived a sinless life, loves us so much that He died for our sins, taking the punishment that we deserve, was buried, and rose from the dead according to theBible. If you truly believe and trust this in your heart, receiving Jesus alone as your Savior, declaring, "Jesus is Lord," you will be saved from judgment and spend eternity with God in heaven.

What is your response?

Yes, today I am deciding to follow Jesus

Yes, I am already a follower of Jesus

I still have questions

Getting Past Guilt: Overcoming Barriers to Feeling Forgiven

June 15, 2009


by Insight for Living





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Puritan minister Richard Baxter warned about the emotional toll of carrying unnecessary guilt: “That sorrow, even for sin, may be overmuch. That overmuch sorrow swalloweth one up.”1 In his wonderful old English, Reverend Baxter captured the feelings of people who have not experienced forgiveness. Grief over past sins plunges them into a depth of sorrow. Guilt swallows them up, and they feel as if they are drowning.


As believers, many of us understand intellectually what it means to be forgiven. We know that Christ’s death atones for our sins. By placing our faith in Him, we are saved into an eternal relationship with our Lord that never changes. Even though we may still sin after becoming a Christian, we know that when we turn to the Lord with a repentant heart, confessing our sin to Him, He washes our sin away. First John tells us that when we confess our sin, God “is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).


Yet sometimes, people discover that they are unable to find that feeling of reconciliation with God. No matter how often they confess and after doing all that they can to make reparation for their sin, they still feel as if they cannot be forgiven. It may seem like theirsins—things like divorce, abortion, or adultery—are beyond God’s forgiveness. They continue to carry the burden of their guilt along with them each day, weighed down by a feeling of permanent distance in their relationship with the Lord. Perhaps the waters of guilt have washed over you, and you feel like you are sinking in sorrow and regret. What could be preventing you from moving beyond your past and feeling forgiven?


I have observed five mistaken ways of thinking that are common among those who struggle with past sins. Crossing over these thought “barriers” is the first step on the road to feeling forgiven . . . and free.


Barrier #1: “What I have done is too bad. I know that God is forgiving, but I cannot be forgiven for this.”

This barrier ensnares many sincere believers because it gives such a strong appearance of sadness over sin. It feels like a righteous response; we don’t want to downplay the gravity of our sin.


Yet an honest look at the above statement shows that it is not really humble nor is it true. In effect, it implies that Christ's death was not enough to pay for all sin. It is as though we are saying, “Maybe His atonement covers the sins of the rest of the world. But Jesus’s death cannot cover this.” We have made our particular sin out to be uniquely bad and Christ’s payment to be inadequate.


What a far cry this is from the truth! If our sin is an exception to God’s forgiveness, then Scripture lies because it declares, “Everyone who calls upon the name of the LORD will be saved” (Acts 2:21). No exceptions!


The truth is that our sin is no worse (and no better) than the rest of humanity’s. All sin is evil in the Lord’s sight. Yet Christ’s death is sufficient (see Colossians 1:20-21;Hebrews 7:24-25). It is more than enough—many, many times over—to cover all the wrong we’ve ever done and will ever do. No sin is beyond God’s forgiveness.


Barrier #2: “I must punish myself for my sins in order to be forgiven.”

We have a natural desire to pay for our sins. Logically, we understand that wrong actions deserve punishment, and we may feel an odd sense of satisfaction in being punished (or punishing ourselves!) for our sins. Our feelings of guilt and rejection become the penance for our sin to win back God’s favor.


It is true that our sins deserve terrible punishment—which Christ endured for us. It is not true that we must add our own punishment to Christ’s. Personal pain adds no atoning value to Christ’s sacrifice. Our forgiveness came at a very high cost to our Lord, and this cost is quite sufficient to pay for what we have done. While we must still make reparation when we have wronged another person, we must not continually torture ourselves when the Lord has already forgiven us. Jesus has paid our penalty. We cannot add to Christ’s sacrifice for our sins.


Barrier #3: “I know that God has forgiven me, but that doesn't matter. I cannot forgive myself.”

Again, this seems like a very righteous response. It seems flippant to simply accept God’s forgiveness and “dismiss” our sin. Intellectually, we may know that Christ’s death is enough to pay for our sins, but that doesn’t matter. We know how wrong we were—too wrong to be let off the hook so easily.


Yet as we look closely at this thought barrier, we realize this response is not righteous. Just the opposite. By saying that we cannot forgive ourselves, we elevate our judgment above the Lord’s. We think that we know better than He does; He might be quick to forgive, but we are not so simple. Yet what right do we have to hang onto something that God released? Do we think He doesn’t know every sordid detail of every sin? Are we wiser than He? If He has forgotten it, why would we think that it is more honorable to hold on to it?


Seen in this light, the folly of this barrier is much clearer. Scripture never tells us to forgive ourselves. When we try to “forgive” ourselves, we are attempting the impossible. Forgiveness assumes an innocent party has been wronged, and it is the job of the person who has been wronged to forgive. The offending party is the one that receivesforgiveness.


We are the offender; God is the one who has been wronged, since our sin is rebellion against Him. By focusing on forgiving ourselves, we have taken the spotlight off of God and pointed it at us—making it doubly difficult to let go of our sin! He has forgiven us. We must simply receive that forgiveness and rest in it. That means releasing those sins we want to hold on to, refusing to revisit them in our minds, and allowing the truth of our forgiveness to cover us with His peace. Absolution from the Lord is far more powerful than absolution from oneself.


Barrier #4: “Because I am still suffering the effects from my sin, God must not have forgiven me yet.”

It is easy to confuse natural consequences with God’s punishment; however, they are different. If you jump from a lofty ledge, you may sprain your ankle. God did not cause your ankle to twist to punish you. Gravity drew you back to the earth’s surface (and quickly!). Your pain was simply a consequence of your action.


In the same way, sins for which we have been forgiven long ago may still have consequences in our lives. An ex-spouse may be difficult to get along with. We may grieve on the due date of the baby that was aborted. We may suffer injuries from the accident that occurred while we were drinking. Yet none of these troubles represents God’s punishment. According to Romans 5:9-10, God saves us from His wrath:


Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! (NIV)


Our punishment has been paid in Christ. As believers, we are forgiven for our actions and precious to the Lord, even when consequences from those actions remain in our lives.


Barrier #5: “God has allowed too much suffering into my life; I cannot forgive God for what He has done.”

The person struggling with this last barrier has usually suffered greatly. The pain from life’s losses can feel overwhelming, and the instinctive response may be to lash out at the Sovereign One for not stopping it.


Yet when we are angry with the Lord, we cut ourselves off from the One who can truly heal our wounds. The psalmist has said, “But our God is in the heavens; / He does whatever He pleases” (Psalm 115:3). The Lord has the right to allow difficult things into our lives. In His wisdom He has chosen to wait before blotting out all pain from the earth. As a result we still suffer from the consequences of living in a fallen world, from the sins of others, and from our own sin. Ultimately we know that God’s justice will prevail. In the meantime, we may experience suffering.


Some well-meaning counselors may say that you need to “forgive God” for the things you have endured. Yet never in Scripture are we asked to forgive God. God has not wronged us. God is ultimately the only truly wronged party, as He is the only One who is truly innocent. It is we who have sinned against Him. In His graciousness, He has chosen to pay the penalty for our sins Himself and save us. If you are holding on to anger against the Lord, let His grace melt your bitterness. Only in submission to Him will you find peace.


So what do we do with guilt?

After we move past these thought barriers, the next step is to understand guilt from God’s perspective. What is supposed to happen when we sin?


When we do something wrong, we should feel badly! That’s the purpose of our God-given conscience. Yet Scripture talks about two kinds of guilt or sorrow over sin, one we should pursue, and one we must avoid.


For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. (2 Corinthians 7:10)


Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow. The first one leads to life, but the latter shoves us into a spiritual grave. Worldly sorrow only bemoans getting caught or weeps for what was lost. It never grieves for the wrong committed. Godly sorrow produces different results. When we experience godly sorrow, we are deeply grieved for the wrong we committed. We desire to ask forgiveness, to repair the damage, to make reparation for the harm done; not merely to protect ourselves from pain or regain what we didn’t want to give up. In a word, we repent.


Repentance is turning away from sin and turning back to God. True guilt gets us up on our feet and motivates us to do the right thing. But notice the middle part of the passage above, because it’s easy to miss. Godly sorrow . . . leaves no regret. We are not to be like broken records, skipping back to an old sin over and over again, but we are to move forward with the Lord. Imagine if Paul had continually relived his terrible past—he pursued and imprisoned Christians! If he had hung on to his sins, he certainly wouldn’t have been the powerful minister we find in Scripture (see 1 Timothy 1:12-16).


In trusting and repentance, there is rest.In our struggle through the hurts and pains of life, we must cling with all our heart to Scripture's teachings on forgiveness. Real forgiveness is available to all people—a forgiveness that satisfies our deepest longing to be cleansed inside and out. Through Christ, all of our sins have been paid for. God’s plan is that our sorrow—or guilt—over our sin would return our heart to Him. He desires that we turn from that sin, ask forgiveness—both from Him and from those we hurt—make reparation when possible, and then walk on with Him. We must let go of that sin, leaving no regret behind as we continue on with our Lord.


May you find the strength and the peace of the Lord today through both the reality ofand the experience of His forgiveness.

Baxter, Richard. "What are the Best Preservatives against Melancholy and Overmuch Sorrow?" InPuritan Sermons 1659-1689, Being the Morning Exercises at Cripplegate. 6 vols. Edited by James Nichols. Wheaton: Richard Owen Roberts, 1981, 3:253.

O Happy Guilt, O Joyful Sorrow: An Orthodox Understanding

Fr. George Morelli Ph.D.

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Understanding Guilt in Eastern and Western Christianity

In the Orthodox Christian tradition, The Philokalia (Greek: love of the good) ranks as the authoritative compilation of teaching about Christian life and discipline by the Fathers of the Church. In the reference work The Philokalia: Master Reference Guide, author B.S. Stapakis notes there is no reference to "guilt" in the first four volumes of the Philokalia. The reason for this absence is that the Western Christian concepts about how guilt factors into salvation differs markedly from the Christian East.

The late Orthodox historian Fr. John Meyendorff wrote:

"The development of penitential practice and theology in the Byzantine world was distinct from its Western counterpart in that it never knew the influence of legalistic interpretations of salvation...Byzantine theologians never succumbed to the temptation of reducing sin to the notion of a legal crime, which is to be sentenced, punished or forgiven..."

He goes on to say that the prevailing view sees penance as "liberation and healing rather than that of judgment."

Contrast Meyendorff's conclusion with the Catholic Encyclopedia where guilt is described as liability to punishment incurred by transgressing a law. The process that pronounces a person guilty of transgression is compared to a "court of law," and that "in the Christian life, guilt has this primary objective sense." The subjective ramification of this objective decree is psychological remorse, or from the other direction, psychological remorse is the evidence of objective guilt.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church approaches the matter a bit differently. It does not have a specific entry for "guilt" but states that in the confession or disclosure of sin "...man looks squarely at the sins he is guilty of, and takes responsibility for them" (1455).

Nevertheless, despite this softening of the juridical motif where the pronouncement of transgression is likened to a court of law, the theme of psychological remorse remains. This is evident in the belief that "a temporal punishment for sin remains" even when sins are forgiven as well as the subsequent practice of granting indulgences that continues even today. Indulgences, "Opens...the treasury of merits of Christ and the saints to obtain from the Father of mercies the remission of temporal punishments due for their sins" (1478).

Orthodox Christianity does not hold to the notion that guilt is a punishment for sin. Guilt certainly exists as an indicator that sin has occurred, but confession and repentance are understood in more therapeutic terms, as a means by which the sinner is restored to communion with God and through which spiritual healing is affected and not as the process by which punishment is imposed.

One exception to the Orthodox understanding occurred among some teachers who came under the influence of the western ideas in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. A prime example is St. Tikhon of Zadonsk (1724-1783) who "borrowed heavily from the west," according to Bishop Kallistos Ware. St. Tikhon "... drew upon German and Anglican books of devotion; his detailed meditations upon the physical sufferings of Jesus are more typical of Roman Catholicism than Orthodoxy." St. Tikhon's prayer life was influenced heavily by St. John of the Cross' Dark Night of the Soul.

St. Theophane the Recluse, a student of St. Tikhon wrote a magnum opus, The Path to Salvation, a reinterpretation of True Christianity written by his beloved teacher. "Judge and condemn yourself, and only yourself...your bad will alone is to blame (guilt of your sin). So blame yourself," wrote St. Theophane.

St. Theophane's western approach to guilt is demonstrated by his view of the majority of Christians as "...people who are more or less depraved in their present lives..." wrote Bishop Ware. The problem here is not acceptance of responsibility within which St. Theophane is in total conformity with the spiritual fathers of the Church. Rather the problem is in his emphasis on the depravity of the individual as such as a "state of being" that functions as a component of guilt and is only realized through the experience of guilt.

Understanding Guilt Today

Modern society holds back no barriers discussing guilt. Barnes and Nobel lists no less that 1,143 titles dealing with guilt. Some psychologists posit that guilt is a developmental stage that a person may pass through (Erickson 1950). Dealing with the deleterious effects of guilt is also a focus of clinical research psychologists. Bandura (1974) argues that guilt, shame or dissatisfaction occurs when an individual compares their behavior to their internal standards and finds that it either violates or falls short of those standards.

Cognitive-behavioral psychology has done much to define the meaning of guilt and distinguish between the functional and dysfunctional uses of the term. One of the basic premises of the cognitive-behavioral approach is to distinguish between the individual (their being, so to speak) from what they do (their thoughts, feelings and actions). From the outset patients are taught this important distinction. Treatment focus starts with the evaluation of the thoughts, emotions and actions without evaluating the "self" (Morelli, 2001, 2004). The value of the individual is simply they are "human" and humans can do good or bad things.

This view is congruent with the Christian view although the Christian view goes further. The scriptures teach that we are created in God's image and called to be like Him. Further, "...God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. (Gen. 1:31). The things we do may be wrong or even evil but our actions cannot negate the existential truth that we are made in God's image and thus good remains.

St. Isaac of Syria stated, God "...has created all for man and has given him mind and word, by which, rising on high, he can enter into communion with God, contemplating and glorifying Him." From the Christian perspective the value of the human being rests in this capacity to contemplate, commune with, and ultimately glorify, God.

Humans made in God's image are called to be like Him and experience theosis, or God dwelling in them. St. Maximos the Confessor wrote that, "Deification is an enhypostatic and direct illumination which has no beginning but appears in those worthy as something exceeding beyond their comprehension. It is indeed a mystical union with God, beyond nous and reason in the age when creatures will no longer know corruption." Bishop Hierotheos Vlachos (1994) concluded that "...the vision of the uncreated light is man's deification."

Guilt and Human Psychology

How, then, do we properly understand and deal with guilt? The first step is to frame any experience of guilt in the broader context that the penitent was created good, and his essential goodness rests in the capacity to experience the life of God.

One of the major components of guilt is the cognitive construct of "badness" (Burns, 1980, Ellis, 1962). The first cognitive distortion (Morelli, 2004) that leads to guilt is to perceive the "self" as bad instead of the "thought, feeling or action" as bad. In psychological terms this is a fundamental breakdown in reality testing. In spiritual terms, this demonstrates a lack of knowledge about our divine value and potential at best; at worst it broadcasts hopelessness and despair.

Psychologically speaking, a person is still a human despite bad things they have done. This is true no matter what the horror of actions committed from a societal viewpoint.

Spiritually speaking, no matter how darkened the mind or evil an act, cleansing is still possible. The strongest example in scripture is King David who had an affair with a colleague's wife and then had the colleague killed but still obtained forgiveness (2 Samuel 11). The affair and murder did not consign King David to a state of unredeemable darkness (a perpetual state of "badness" to use the psychological terminology). The Psalmist in reference to David's sin wrote:

Have mercy on me O God, according to thy steadfast love: according to thy abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me for from my sin (Psalm 50: 1,2).

From a cognitive-psychological viewpoint the next step is to evaluate the "badness" of the thoughts, emotions and behaviors. There are basically two options. The first is to assess if the thought or action is objectively bad, immoral and/or unethical. The second option is to assess if the thought or action is cognitively distorted, that is, not bad at all or not as bad to the degree that it is being perceived. The psychologically healthy response is to assume responsibility for the thought or action commensurate with an objective assessment of the transgression.

Once again this was beautifully expressed by the Psalmist, "For I know my transgression and my sin is ever before me" (Psalm 50:3). A transgression should not be denied, but acknowledged.

A common theme in distorted evaluations is that they have a "demand" and "over-evaluation" factors. Feelings of guilt are often accompanied by "should statements" such as "I should not have done this bad thing," "I am worthless, others will look down on me," and "I thought I could never do such a thing." Individuals see themselves as above being able to do or say bad things.

One of the prayers in the Eastern Church funeral service gets it right, "...there is no man who is alive and does not sin." The denial of the capability to fall short and do bad things is actually a subtle form of pride, and pride is sin.

Even the greatest of saints had a sense of falling short and would turn around through the gift of tears (Staniloae, 2003). Peter, for example, wept after denying Our Lord three times (Matthew 26:75). Should these tears be understood at as psychological self-deprecation? No! The "gift of tears" is really penthos - the "mourning for the loss of God's presence" (Chryssavgis, 1990). They constitute a "joyful sorrow" through which a person is transformed by the grace of God.

Dealing With Guilt

Burns, (1981) describes the "guilt cycle" that often follows a transgression. A person's cognitive processes are trapped in an endless loop: "I am bad, I am worthy of condemnation, I am guilty thus I deserve to suffer." Emotional reasoning is the fuel that feeds this loop: "Because I feel guilty I am guilty; I am inherently bad, Ideserve punishment."

Challenging and restructuring this error in thinking is critical at this stage. Ask the person if feelings are fact. Use this example: People once strongly felt that the world was flat. Today we know today the world is round and revolves around the sun. No matter how strongly we might feel about something, feelings are not facts!

The key to dealing with 'guilt' from this point on is again found in the words of the Psalmist: "thou desires truth in the inward being; therefore teach me wisdom in my secret heart....Then I will teach transgressors thy ways and sinners will return to thee" (Psalm 50: 6,13). Clinically and pastorally I use the term "debriefing" to describe this process of dealing with guilt.

Debriefing is a neutral term that is action oriented. It has no surplus meanings that might evoke irrational interpretations and strong emotions. The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) debrief astronauts after a space flight. The military debrief units after operations. Police and fire units debrief their personnel after incidents. The focus on debriefing is to understand the causes of events, the effectiveness of interventions, the consequences, suggestions, and plans for improvement.

The Church Fathers obviously used different terms. The term examination of conscience covers some of the meanings. The purpose of debriefing is to set the groundwork for a more successful operation in the future. Focusing on self-downing and punishment interferes with this process. The church calls for a metanoia which the Shepherd of Hermas defines as a call for great understanding and discernment (Chryssavgis 1990). Metanoia means a fundamental change of mind; a transformation of outlook.

Moreover, a change of mind indicates a change in emotion and a change in behavior which further indicates a plan of action to bring about this change. Here is where understanding and discernment can be married to behavioral plans. For example, it is folly for a person who has an alcohol problem to continue working as a bartender. A major change, a new plan is needed -- a metanoia of mind, heart, feeling and action.

One issue that usually arises is how do I make up for my past badness, transgressions and sins? The answer is again found in the words of the Psalmist: "Then I will teach transgressors thy ways and sinners will return to thee." To make up for the past put all effort on the present and future. Teach transgressors -- first ourselves and, in humility, others. The past cannot be changed; it can only serve as classroom to learn what to do in the present and future.

As our Lord taught us: While it is still time, fill our lamps with oil.

"And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast; and the door was shut. Afterward the other maidens came also, saying, 'Lord, lord, open to us.' But he replied, 'Truly, I say to you, I do not know you.' Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour" (Mat. 25: 1-13).

Behavioral psychology can be useful in planning. Instead of using vague abstract terms, like "I will try and do better," I recommend concrete, specific pinpointed tasks along the order of: I resolve to ____________ (with the concrete action written in). I give specific behavioral homework assignments and require the penitent or patient to report if and when they are completed. For example, an alcoholic may be assigned to list, call and make an appointment at treatment center by, say, noon the next day and report back to me with the exact list, people he spoke with, the time he called, and more. Obviously the homework assignments are targeted to the specific problems (or sins) the individual struggles with.

If repentance changed Peter who denied Christ into a leader of the apostles, the disciples who fled from the Cross into founders of the Church, or Saul the Pharisee who martyred Christians into Paul the great missionary, so too can we, despite our failures and sins, become zealous disciples of Christ for the rest of our lives. Jesus told us that he who has been forgiven much loves much (Luke 7:47). This is love in action, not self-flagellation, and can be the greatest and most joyful way to overcome sin. "O Happy Guilt" encompasses the true meaning of guilt that can be the source of our liberation, healing and deification.

REFERENCES

Bandura, A. (1974). Behavior Theories and Models of Man. American Psychologist, 29, 859-869.
Burns, D. (1980). Feeling Good: The new mood therapy. New York: Avon
Catechism of the Catholic Church. (1996). Washington, DC: National Conference of Catholic Bishops.
Chryssavgis, J. (1990). Repentance and Confession. Brookline, MA: Holy Cross Press.
Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and emotion in psychotherapy. New York: Lyle Stuart.
Erickson, E. H. (1950). Childhood and Society. New York: Norton
Meyendorff, J. (1974). Byzantine Theology. New York: Fordham University.
Morelli, G. (2001). Response to Faros In J. Chirban (Ed), Sickness or Sin? Spiritual discernment and differential diagnosis. Brookline, MA: Holy Cross Orthodox Press.
Morelli, G. (2004). Christian Asceticism and Cognitive Behavioral Psychology. In S. Muse (Ed.), Raising Lazarus: Integrating Healing in Orthodox Christianity. Brookline, MA: Holy Cross Orthodox Press.
Staniloae, D. (2003). Orthodox Spirituality. South Canaan, PA: St. Tikhon's Seminary Press.
Stapakis, B.S. (2004). The Philokalia: Master reference guide. Minneapolis: Light & Life.
Stravinskas, P. M. J. (1991). The Catholic Encyclopedia. Huntington, IN: Our Sunday Visitor
Vlachos, Bishop Hierotheos, (1994). Orthodox psychotherapy: The science of the fathers. Levadia, Greece: Birth of the Theotokos Monastery.
Ware, T. (1984). The Orthodox Church. London: Penguin.

V. Rev. Fr. George Morelli Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, Coordinator of the Chaplaincy and Pastoral Counseling Ministry of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese, (www.antiochian.org/counseling-ministries) and Religion Coordinator (and Antiochian Archdiocesan Liaison) of theOrthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology and Religion. Fr. George is Assistant Pastor of St. George's Antiochian Orthodox Church, San Diego, California.

V. Rev. Fr. George Morelli Ph.D. is a licensed Clinical Psychologist and Marriage and Family Therapist, Coordinator of the Chaplaincy and Pastoral Counseling Ministry of the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Archdiocese, (www.antiochian.org/counseling-ministries) and Religion Coordinator (and Antiochian Archdiocesan Liaison) of theOrthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology and Religion. Fr. George is Assistant Pastor of St. George's Antiochian Orthodox Church, San Diego, California.

Fr. Morelli is the author of Healing: Orthodox Christianity and Scientific Psychology (available from Eastern Christian Publications, $15.00).

http://www.orthodoxytoday.org/articles6/MorelliGuilt.php

DEALING WITH THE PROBLEM OF SIN AND GUILT

BY LYNETTE HOY TREASURE



It is not unusual for Christians to feel guilty because of sin in their lives, and to have problems dealing with that guilt and sin. We think that once we have become Christians, we will no longer have a struggle with sin, and that through Christ we will have power to overcome it. Actually, Paul talks about his struggle with sin in Romans 7:18,19: "I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”

If you're plagued by guilt, it can really help to talk about it. One of our CONFIDENTIAL MENTORS would love to listen without judgment, pray for you, and support you in the journey.

When we accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we experienced the wonderful cleansing power of His blood, which was shed on the cross for us over 2,000 years ago. We had an overwhelming feeling of freedom and release from the bondage of sin and death when we first repented from our old lives and turned to Christ. Then, the following dilemma began to occur as the weeks and months went by – we found ourselves tempted to return to sinful patterns of thinking and acting. It became difficult to accept that we would still continue to sin because we are children of the King: righteous, new creations in Christ, called to be holy as He is holy.

But the truth is, we are still sinners and will always battle with sin in our lives because we are inwardly bent towards sin. That is the reason God says in His Word that we need to confess our sins and rely on His promise to cleanse us:

• "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the LORD' – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.” (Psalm 32:5)
• “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)
• “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)
• "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:1)

These verses remind us that:

1. As Christians we will still sin.
2. Though we are commanded not to sin, there is forgiveness through Jesus Christ.
3. When we sin, there is a way to restore fellowship with God:

Confess that sin to God and to others.
Repent from the sin, asking God to change the direction of our lives.
Pray for each other; ask someone to pray for us.
Trust that God's promises are true: He has forgiven us and no longer condemns us.

Who We Still Are

Sometimes pride keeps us from admitting our sin or keeps us from forgiving ourselves when we sin as Christians. When this happens we need to tell ourselves the truth about who we still are... sinners saved by grace. Don't let pride keep you from enjoying your relationship with God and don't believe that you are now above the need for God's ongoing grace in your life.

You can begin living in God's grace and accept His ongoing, unconditional forgiveness for the sins you still battle, or the memory of past sin in your life. Realize that as a Christian, you still need to recognize and confess sin in your life. You can have grace for yourself based on God's grace and forgiveness for you when He paid the penalty for all your sins once and for all through His Son's death on the cross 2,000 years ago.

Remember that God's love “covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8). We don't know our hearts very well, but God knows us and His forgiveness is complete and eternal because Jesus Christ has paid the penalty for our sins and "not for our sins only, but the sins of the whole world" (1 John 2:1-2).

Photo (Flickr CC) by ASHLEY ROSE

TAKE ACTION!

1Know That You're Forgiven
You are no longer condemned. You are forgiven! You are His child. You can make a new start every time you sin... just sincerely confess it and ask God to change you from the inside out. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." If you have repeatedly fallen into the same sin such as pornography, lying, unforgiveness, substance abuse, gossiping, etc., then go to your pastor, a mentor, or a Christian counselor and ask for their guidance, prayer, and instruction on how to stay strong when you're tempted to sin.
2Preach the Gospel to Yourself
Memorize the following Scriptures so that you can begin relying on God’s Word and the assurance of forgiveness He offers you in Christ, rather than the self-condemnation you may be thinking and feeling.
• “And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all. Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when this priest had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” (Hebrews 10:10-14)
• “In him (Christ) we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace.” (Ephesians 1:7)
• “He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:10-12)