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2022年8月4日星期四

我与父亲之间和睦的成就者——基督

我与父亲之间和睦的成就者——基督

那一年因着和父亲闹僵了的缘故,我被迫住在一个热心信主之人的家里,他们是在街上住,做着卖羊肉的生意。在那些日子,我终日穿梭在挂着剥了皮的羊肉架子间,给他们家帮忙卖羊肉。他们家衣食住行样样不缺,对我也很关心,但我却觉得自己寄人篱下;街上热闹喧哗,但我的心里却一片忧愁孤寂。


我和父亲关系闹僵离家出走的缘故,与其说是因着信主,倒不如说是因着我生命的不成熟、我的忿怒、无知、骄傲所带来的。那两年,我因着上神学而没有出去打工,对象相了好几个,也没有找到合适的。父亲因此时常来指责和辱骂我。因为我上的是神学,父亲不禁把罪归咎于主,在他看来,信主只会让人好吃懒做,不思进取。但那时我的心被主的大爱紧紧的抓住,不论如何,我要恒心的寻求神。因此父子僵持在这种极度的张力之间。


这一天,我、父亲,母亲三人在院子里吃饭,父亲开口说:“继伟回来了,今年人家弄不少钱,估计得有十来万。”父亲时常拿我和村子里其他同龄人比较,以此显示我的失败无能。言语间,我能听到父亲的口音:贫穷就是主所害的。


父亲接着说:“政委在东北开废品站,他今年才去一年,都赚的有一二十万。”我仍旧默默无声。


“你看人家是咋干的,你有点志气不中吗?”


“我是我,你别拿我和人家相比。”我不服气的说道。


“那天天你就在家里白吃白喝是吧?”父亲穷追不舍。“有本事你别在这个家,想上哪上哪去。”


父亲这种对我毫不留情的打击和逼迫也激起了我心中的怒气。“你凭啥?”我像愣头青一样猛地抛出了一句话。父亲因为犯了事有很长时间都没在家,是母亲一人辛苦把我抚养长大,所以我对他也有些怨气,纵然因此,脾气暴躁的父亲与我之间的一场战斗在所难免……


既然和父亲已经决裂,我并不感到惧怕,我萌生了一个做四海为家的传道人的想法,只是从此有一个父亲永远失去了他的儿子,有一个孩子也永远失去了他的父亲。而这却并不是一件好事,主的名更不能因此得荣耀。


随后,我便去了上文所提到的住在街上的那位热心信主之人的家里。没想到一周之后,我便再次回到了我认为不可能回到的家里,于我而言,我是不想回的,因为当时我觉得这是一个屈辱,但我并没有真正认识到自己的刚硬无知。但在教会长辈弟兄的诚恳劝说下,我终于答应回去。回去时并不是我一个人回的,而是有几个主内的长辈弟兄同我一起回的。


那天,教会长老的一位弟兄和父亲交流了很多,他们从基督教引领着西方国家的文明谈起,直说到我因信主而所存孝顺的心,说的父亲眼前为之一亮,他们还劝勉父亲也要信主,然后可使全家蒙福,但父亲仍不驯的说道:“只要小刚娶到老婆,我就信主。”即便如此,终究,我与父亲之间的隔阂被拆毁了。

感谢主基督,是他在十字架上流血牺牲的爱做成我与父亲之间的和睦。

2022年8月3日星期三

Who Made Peace Between My Father And Me--Jesus Christ

 In that year, I had to live in the house of a zealous believer who lived down the street and ran a business selling mutton because of a disagreement with my father. In those days, I spent my days shuttling between skinned mutton racks and helping their families sell mutton. They lived a good life and short of nothing,they also took good care of me, but I felt that I was like a stranger and dependent on them; The streets were bustling , but my heart was full of sorrow and loneliness. 


The reason I ran away from home because of my relationship with my father was not so much because of my faith in the Lord, but because of my immaturity in life, my anger, ignorance, and pride. During those two years, I did not go out to work because I was attending theological school, and I had several dates, but I could not find a suitable girl friend. My father used to accuse and scold me for this. Because I was studying theology, my father could not help but blame the Lord . In his opinion, believing in the Lord only made people lazy and unmotivated. But at that time my heart was firmly attracted by the great love of the Lord.No matter what, I would seek God with perseverance. So my dad and I were deadlocked between this extreme tension.  


One day, my father, mother and I were having dinner in the courtyard.

 My father said, "Jiwei is back. This year they have made a lot of money. It's estimated to be around 100,000." 

My father often compared me with other people of the same age in the village to show my failing and incompetence. Between the words, I could hear my father with his accent: Poverty is because of the Lord.

My father went on to say: "The political commissar opened a waste station in the northeast. He only went there for only one year this year, and he earned 100,000 to 200,000 yuan." I remained silent.

"Look at what those people do, are you have no ambition at all?"

"I am me, don't compare me to others." I said defiantly.

"Then every day you just eat and drink at home for nothing, right?" My father pursued me relentlessly. "If you can, don't be in this house, go anywhere you want."


The merciless attack and persecution of my father also aroused anger in my heart. "Why are you?" I threw out a sentence boldly . My father was not at home for a long time because of the crime, and it was my mother who worked hard to raise me, so I was a little bit resentful towards him, even though because of this, a battle between my grumpy father and me was inevitable...... 


Now that I have broken with my father, I am not afraid. I have the idea of becoming a preacher,

anywhere could be home, but since then there was a father who had lost his son forever, and a child who had lost his father forever. But this was not a good thing, and the name of the Lord could not be glorified because of it.


Then I went to the house of the zealous believer who lived down the street mentioned above. Unexpectedly, a week later, I went back to the home that I thought was impossible, and for me, I didn't want to go back, because I thought it was a humiliation at the time, but I didn't really realize my hardened heart and ignorance. But after the sincere persuasion of the elders and brothers in the church, I finally agreed to go back. When I went back, I didn't go back alone, but several elders and brothers in the Lord came back with me.


On that day, one of the brothers of the church elders and my father had a lot of communications. They talked about Christianity leading the civilization of the western countries, and talked about my filial heart because of my faith in the Lord, which made my father's eyes light up, and they also urged him to believe in the Lord, so that the whole family could be blessed. " Even so, in the end, the barrier between me and my father was torn down.


I thank the Lord Christ that it was His blood-sacrificing love on the cross that made peace between my father and me.